I miss you so much. I love you so much. I don't know who I am without you. But I'm working on it. That's all I can do for now I guess.
Every time I casually touch a guy, I miss touching you. It could be a handshake, and I'm suddenly missing the way you held my hand. Or maybe it's a quick brush of our hands when we're exchanging money, and I'm thinking about the way it felt when you'd run your hands down my arm so lightly. Or it's a quick hug, and I'm suddenly nearly in tears thinking about the way it felt to be wrapped tightly in your arms. I miss you so much. I knew the first night I fell asleep with my arm around you that I never wanted to fall asleep next to anyone else again. But now I can't sleep that way with you. And it's so hard. I miss you so much. I love you.
I hung out with a friend tonight. He's a nice guy. He listens to me cry about you. He's supportive. But I miss you, when I'm with him. Because I miss you all the time, but especially when I'm with another guy. Christopher, you were supposed to be mine forever.
There's the ring that I wear now all the time. I thought they would be great for when we pretended to be married. And a good way to let you know just how serious I was about my love for you. Now I have both of them. I really wish you were wearing the other one. I love you so much.
I miss you baby!
Carla
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