You're My Best Friend

Dearest Christopher,

Good morning baby.  I miss you. Mornings are so hard. I hate waking up by myself.  And knowing I can't text you makes it even worse.  You belong here with me.  And I miss you.  You were my very best friend, as well as my boyfriend.

I'm trying to make new friends, but it's hard.  You're still the only friend I want to talk to.  Yesterday I talked to this really sweet girl in California.  She lost the love of her life to a drug overdose just a few days before I lost you.  I'm sad that she knows so much how I feel.  But I think talking to someone who gets it is healing. We both cried.  She had a lovely post about him on Facebook.  I cried like a baby.  Losing someone you love so much, while you're so young, is so hard.  I just want you back baby.  But I know I can't have you.

You always gave me anything I asked for, if you were able to.  But I know that you can't give me back what I want more than anything in the would.  I just want to be held by you.  I love you. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without another hug from you, without seeing your smile, and the way you look when you're sleeping.  I miss you so much.

I love you and miss you so much it hurts.

Carla