I Still Need You

Dear Christopher,

I miss you baby. So much.  And I love you even more.  I have all this love for you that has nowhere to go.

I'm making bad choices.  I know they're bad choices even while I'm making them.  But I'm making them anyway, because I'm so confused about everything. Why did you do this, Christopher? Why did you leave me to make all these decisions I don't want to make?  We were supposed to be a team.  You weren't supposed to leave me.  I know. You didn't leave me on purpose.  None of this was about me.  But the result is still the same.  I'm still here to make choices I don't want to make because you're not here to help me. And I miss you and need you.  You always said I didn't need you like you needed me.  But you were wrong.  I need you.

I still think about you all the time. You're still my first thought in the morning and my last one at night.  And most of the ones in between.  I have no idea how to get over you.  I don't even know if I want to.  I just love you so much. No one else could ever be as right for me as you are.  And I don't want to settle for second best after having you.

I miss you so much it hurts

Carla